WMH Season 5 Ep 5: Transforming Mental Health Struggles to Advocacy & Leadership

This is a transcript of Watching Mental Health Season 5, Episode 5 which you can watch and listen to here:

Katie: Hi everyone and welcome to Watching Mental Health. And I am so excited because today's guest is honestly a dear friend of mine from across the country.

Nick: Yeah.

Katie: I've been watching him blossom and just the amazing work that he does in mental health. And his name is This is Nick Emeigh and Nick is a Bucks County resident, and he's also the executive director of NAMI Bucks County PA. And Nick serves on several different in several different ways in the mental health space, including on committees like the Youth Suicide Prevention Task Force, Suicide Prevention Task Force, Young Adult Advisory Board, the Bucks County Mental Health and Development Programs and Advisory Board, and so so many more.

Nick: Mm-hmm.

Katie: Really having survived several suicide attempts and struggles with mental health himself as an adolescent and a young adult, Nick is passionate about sharing his story of recovery. And he works really heavily with NAMI as a connection report, recovery support group facilitator, a teacher, a NAMI speaker, a mental health advocate. And today on Watching Mental Health, we're gonna talk about NAMI, what NAMI is, youth mental health, why it's so important to talk about youth mental health. Suicide prevention, we are in Suicide Prevention Month. So this is a timely topic and really how Nick turned his story of pain and stigma into healing and purpose. And he is such an inspiration for so many I know in the mental health space. So with that, welcome to the show, Nick Emeigh.

Nick: Thank you, Katie. Thank you for having me. This is awesome. Of course.

Katie: Thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited. And like I said, you know, I've been watching you from afar for a long time. You know, I think for at least

Nick: Yeah.

Katie: Five years, since the pandemic, I'll say. I've, you know,

Nick: Yeah.

Katie: Really been watching your journey and seeing you really grow in, you know, the mental health space. And before we get into any of that though, I always like to ask my guests the first question, tell me a little bit about yourself and why you chose mental health as your area of focus is your career.

Nick: Sure. Well, I I mean, now that you know me, you know what else would I be doing. So I struggled for a very long time and back when I first started working in mental health after the struggle, there wasn't enough available for me.

What happened was I struggled and we'll get into it, but then I got sober and I went through a twelve step program to get sober. And, you know, i at one point you realize in your sobriety journey that underlying all of the substance use was a you know, maybe one mental health issue or a bunch of them in my case. I had a bunch.

And I needed somewhere to go to find community and to talk about that. And I was looking and looking and so NAMI came about. When I first joined NAMI, it was a smaller affiliate and I just put everything into NAMI that I needed and couldn't find back then. So I really chose this route because I felt like I was totally alone.

I thought that, you know, something was wrong with me that was not fixable or curable or, you know, basically that made me a monster. And I thought, you know, if I can build a little community here in my local area so that other people don't feel that way, then maybe that's what I'm here on this earth to do. So that's kind of what inspired me was I felt alone, I felt super different, and I couldn't find the community and so I built it.

Katie: Beautiful. And I think that that's really what NAMI is. I know a lot of people maybe who are listening don't know NAMI, but it's the it's that it's that platform to build that community, right? And I like that, you know, every NAMI affiliate kind of builds their community for their community. And it's them, the people who are working in that space who are who are creating it. And you know, my I think my story is similar in many ways. I was searching, right, for a a mental health organization, for a way to have these conversations, to talk to somebody, right? And couldn't until I found NAMI and then helped to

Nick: Yeah.

Katie: Kind of build my own local NAMI in my own way. And

Nick: Yeah, she did.

Katie: You know, it just it it matters to have someone to talk to. And so before we get into that, I just wanna for our listeners out there, tell us a little bit about what NAMI is, what does it stand

Nick: Yeah.

Katie: For? Give us the elevator pitch and so that way

Nick: You got it.

Katie: We can let people know. Yeah.

Nick: So NAMI is an acronym that stands for National Alliance on Mental Illness. So N A I NAMI. And it's a national organization with state organizations in each state and local affiliates. So there are over I think seven hundred across the country.

You know, I I think it's the goal that every county in the country has one and that would be great. Some counties that have smaller populations join together and you know make a a a regional type NAMI. And together we form an alliance and together we offer a network of free programs that were previously unavailable to those in need in the realms of support, education, and advocacy.

So a lot of people will find NAMI first through our peer support group called NAMI Connection or our NAMI Family Support Group. Or what we're famous for are our eight week classes. They used to be sixteen weeks and then they went to twelve weeks and now they're eight weeks. Because, you know, with phones and everything, no one can pay attention to anything anymore. And so it's including me.

So we have our our famous evidence based classes called NAMI Family to Family and NAMI Peer to Peer. So they help family members and peers better understand mental health and advocate for themselves and their loved ones.

And then the way that I got started at NAMI is through our community school based education program called NAMI Ending the Silence, which provides evidence-based mental health education to kids in middle and high school throughout the country and here in Bucks County, we do that program in every single school.

And so we really are, you know, the community that cares. So we're dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness. And we do that, like I said, through recovery focused support, education and advocacy.

It's every program that we offer is free. It's not free of cost to us. So we do a lot of work to fundraise and make sure that the support groups and classes and education programs and everything are free.

But that that's one of the big selling points in recovery is, when you're a a family member who's who's struggling to help a loved one and your resources are limited, you know, you need a free program to help you. You need to be able to call a a helpline and say, Hey, you know, I'm a smart person and and I'm a good parent. I just don't know what to do in this crisis. Help me.

Or, you know, I'm a I'm a capable individual. I'm struggling with my own mental health and I don't have the wherewithal right now to help myself. Please help me. And that's that's what we do. If if if you call us and you need us, we won't say no.

So we are the mental health people. We and and the important aspect of NAMI is that we're all peers or family members. So I live with schizoaffective disorder, amongst other things, and I'm an executive director of a NAMI affiliate.

So, you know, a lot of they call them NAMI mommies. So we have moms who have gone through the journey and then have become leaders at NAMI as well. So i even in our our programs that we offer, our support group leaders, education program leaders are all peers or family members.

And that is really important. It's not just, you know, random pe I mean, you could say that everyone struggles with mental health from time to time. No one's immune to it. But we don't we don't just go out and hire random people for you know, skills based things. It's that lived experience is really, really important. Not that we also don't know what we're doing, but that the lived experience piece is

Katie: Mm-hmm.

Nick: Is really, really important. To be able to say me too when someone else is struggling in a way that they think is so unique to them that it makes them unhelpable.

And if you can say, Hey, you know, I I struggled with that myself, and they say, my gosh, Nick you're the executive director or before I was the associate executive director and I say it it what an honor it is to be able to say, Yep, yep, I I I struggled myself and now I'm here and we can help you too. So

Katie: That's amazing. Yeah. And I mean I just I'm I'm a big NAMI fan myself. I think most of my listeners know. But yeah, you know, I also was an ending the silence teacher and it's just, you know, and then instead of peer to peer, I took family to family. And

Nick: Yeah.

Katie: It's just been, you know, really insightful for me. And so I've always been incredibly grateful for my NAMI family in in many ways. And, you know

Nick: Well, we love you too and we're grateful for you too.

Katie: Well, I appreciate that. And and and what and what I love about Nami are the things that you said, right, is we offer these services at no cost for the people who in their for peers in their families, for people who are struggling, even though, you know, we're spending that time building and fundraising for that, for those folks. And you know, really we're people with lived experience. We like to say that we're experts in our own lived experience. And so

Nick: Yes we are. Yes we are.

Katie: Absolutely. And so I just love that. I love your explanation of NAMI. It's incredibly powerful for anybody out there who is struggling and who maybe don't know doesn't know where to turn, right? Who doesn't feel like they have someone to talk to or a resource, you know, you can always reach out to the NAMI helpline and then, you know, see

Nick: Absolutely.

Katie: What your local NAMI communities are. I know every state has a NAMI at least, and so definitely start there for anyone who you know isn't sure where to start first. But with

Nick: So

Katie: That all right so now that we have the groundwork what NAMI is I want to back up a little bit and You know, you mentioned that you got sober at the beginning of your story, but I feel like your story almost started before then. You mentioned or I mentioned in your bio that you had talked before about how you've struggled as youth and young adults,

Nick: Yeah.

Katie: And and an adolescent with mental health and so talk

Nick: Yeah.

Katie: To me about that, you know, why did that lead into substance abuse? To to go from maybe struggling in your young

Nick: Yeah.

Katie: Adult or youth age in into substance abuse. What was missing there? What did you need that you weren't getting as a young adult?

Nick: Any kind of treatment. I it it it you know it goes I mean it's really difficult when you're young. So my my the first time I thought about suicide was in second grade. I did not have the words to talk about it.

And so, you know, it came out as I got bullied really badly, like from a very young age. And it was it was, you know not the typical bullying. It was, you know, kids would ask me if when I was really young, if I was a boy or a girl, and that really messed with me.

And, you know, they would ask me, like, you know, like, are you gay and all this stuff? And, you know, I was a heavy set kid. I was a mama's boy. And so, you know, they picked up on all of my insecurities and they just threw them right back at me. And I didn't have any way to deal with that.

And so in my mind I was different. My life was a mistake. Maybe I'm not supposed to actually be here. And like I just didn't know how to navigate it. So it would come out in phrases like that. Or my life is a mistake. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm a mistake. And so you know, my mom would just say, you know, Nick, you're you're not a mistake. Like this is what kids do.

And so I would come home from school and I f I used food as a coping skill. My mom would make me food and like I I gained more weight and you know by the time I got to middle and high school I just wanted somebody to like me, anybody.

And so the way that I thought I would do that was to stop eating. And I would only eat when I was about to pass out. My goal was to, you know, to have somebody like me and somebody to go to prom with.

And so I lost a ton of weight and I you know, people started to respond positively to that and I just didn't know that that wasn't genuine. And it it, you know, i i your your your appearance shouldn't have any bearing on whether someone thinks you're a good person or not, or, you know, that that you that you have value as a human.

And and that's all that mattered to me was I need to lose as much weight as possible, as fast as possible. And so

Katie: That was the feedback you were given too. I mean, so they

Nick: Yep. Yeah.

Katie: Responded positively and so you you took that and kept running with it. Yeah.

Nick: Even by p family. Yeah. I sure did. I th what w when you get positive feedback, you think you're doing the right thing.

And so I I basically, you know, restricted and and I, you know, I I binged and purged and I had, you know, a a pretty serious eating disorder. And growing up, I don't know who's gonna be watching this or how old they are or anything like that, but when I was younger the only example of an eating disorder that was really readily available was Karen Carpenter from the band The Carpenters, which were they were very popular, I think, in like the 70s.

And I was born in 1982. So, you know, yeah. So like w I remember watching that documentary or that movie that they put on TV about her with my mom. And I remember as a family us discussing, like, my gosh, how could that happen? How could you know, how could her family let that happen?

And then here I am as a teenager and, you know, in my family it was kinda like, we don't talk about mental health, we don't show too much emotion, you know, and and only women get eating disorders. So I thought, well whatever's happening to me is not that and so I just went with it.

I went with it to the point that by the time I got to college I I I had a break. And I didn't know what was going on, but you know, I finally told my parents, like, I don't want to be here anymore. Like, I don't want to live anymore.

And so by that time I had started using substances. So I went away to college in Boston and I would I would walk into a room and I I would be sweating and shaking and weird and everybody picks up on that.

And so, you know, it was very easy to say, you know, smoke this, drink this, take these pills, like and I did. And the problem is, is that it's temporarily effective. Like it really helped in the and it helped until it was a problem.

So, you know, by the time I had, you know, gone to the wellness center in college and told my mom and dad that I didn't want to be here anymore, like that was pretty much a nightly thing. You know, we would be partying and doing that stuff.

So I went home and I told my my parents that and, you know, they took me to the family doctor and the family doctor prescribed me an antidepressant and they also prescribed a benzodiazepine. And the the antidepressant with no education, none. You know, she take this in the morning, take this, you know.

And it it that was the extent of it. Never, you know, this is what this does, this is why you take this. You know, Nick, when these run out, you can't stop taking them. You d you know, you you keep on taking antidepressants. There was no education whatsoever.

And so by the I finished the antidepressants, I didn't notice a difference. And so that was never we never did those again. However, the benzodiazepine had an effect.

And so I I you register that and I I, you know, kept on doing that and that was kind of reinforcement that hey, whether or not you get these pills legally or illegally, they're going to help in these situations. And so I remember the first time I tried to stop on my own and I was doing opiates as well and you know, the stopping is excruciating.

And it it it further reinforces the fact that you need this stuff. So I I had a a healthy addiction by the time I graduated from school and I got a job and everything like that. And I ended up getting a job with a pharmacy chain, which as an addict, I know it was

Katie: Wow, of all jobs. Yeah.

Nick: So you know, I I and everyone thought, okay, well Nick's okay now. Like

Katie: Yeah.

Nick: I had separations from reality. I had little bouts of psychosis, like paranoia, delusions and stuff. And but I was I I I guess I was able to keep it under wraps enough that, you know, no one no one hospitalized me or anything.

So but I got this job though, and it was a big one and I was I was working and you know, I I felt like I was not okay. Like I felt like I was having some sort of a psychotic break. And like there was no evidence in reality of the stuff that I was thinking, but like I couldn't get out of it.

And so I called my mom and my mom had me come home and she like does what she always did. She made me a grilled cheese and she put me to bed and said everything's gonna be okay and I woke up in the morning and I did feel better. I d I did.

And then my mom made these weird noises and everything and I went out to check on her and she my mom fell face forward, she knocked her teeth out, and and she wasn't breathing. So we gave her C PR and you know, my mom never woke up.

And we found out later that she had a brain aneurysm. And so she did not make it through that and we had to take her off life support and you know like that's the point in the story where everyone thinks, like, that this is where Nick gets better. That's where I get way worse. And

Katie: Yeah.

Nick: So I wasn't sober when she died. I w I do not remember the funeral. Like, do not. And I just, you know, instead of wanting to make my mom proud, I wanted to be with my mom. And so that was the goal.

And so, she died in January and on her birthday, which would have been September thirtieth, I went to work. I unlocked the pharmacy and I got what I thought I needed to end my life.

And you know, you could say that my addiction saved my life, my tolerance was so high that whatever I took to end my life didn't work and I woke up. And so, I faced consequences for that, including going to jail and I was remanded to treatment and but in treatment I didn't feel like I fit in there either.

And I thought I don't do drugs like these people do drugs and I'm different and you know and so but I got home from treatment and I tried to kill myself again. And that time I overdosed and I ended up in the hospital and I was diagnosed by polar. At first bipolar disorder.

And I I lived in a recovery house for a little bit because there's really nowhere for people to go if you just have mental illness or just have a mental health condition. And so I had that substance use piece and I was allowed to stay in a recovery house and it was there that I I I really realized that substance use isn't just substance use.

Like it's it's, you know, I wasn't just a drug addict monster that couldn't control his own brain and his own thoughts and everything like that. There's a really real issue underlying. And up until that point, I never really thought about mental health, you know?

I had one more suicide attempt before I I really, you know, got into recovery and took it seriously, but and that was after my father passed away. But I ended up getting into that recovery house and while I was in there two two two was it two or three. Two men died by suicide. One lived with schizophrenia and he couldn't get his meds, the other was facing really some horrible consequ it was three. There was a young man as well.

So another guy was facing criminal justice charges and everything like that. And then there was a young man who just d could not deal with life and you know, I I realized then that that, you know, NAMI is what I needed to do.

And so that's when I came in and I got trained to tell my story in schools. And you know, I I I got clean and sober and it it was it was I s I used to smoke cigarettes, I quit smoking cigarettes as well. And you know, I I really took NAMI seriously.

And one of the best things that you could do as a young person in recovery is to get involved with NAMI and tell your story to these kids in schools. Because now I'm too old to do it. I'm forty four now. But to be relatable to these kids and tell them like, hey, this is this is my story of recovery. This is where I was, this is what helped, this is what hurt, and this is where I am now.

And they come up and they give you hugs and like they, you know, they remember you and then, you know, like I'm I've been with Nami long enough that we've seen kids go through these programs and then remember us and come and ask us for help.

And, you know, now today I'm the executive director and I have this amazing woman, her name is Mia, and she's our youth programs director and she leads all of the ending the silence. She wrote a curriculum for elementary schools and goes and teach elementary school kids how to how to just talk about mental health and basically mental health literacy.

And you know, and then we have Taryn at NAMI who who helps lead all of our support groups. She manages our warm line too. So, you know, one of the things about NAMI is that I was given this really cool opportunity.

And, you know, I I I was able to build this support group network. We were able to build up the school speaking events and everything like that. And now Mia's here. Mia gets the opportunity to do that. And Taryn is here.

Katie: Mm.

Nick: Taryn gets the opportunity to lead all those programs. And how cool is that, you know? It's so

Katie: Yeah. That's amazing.

Nick: I'm just I mean, I'm I'm grateful. I'm not gonna say that it's easy every day. It's you know, it's*

Katie: Right. Right. Right. Of course.

Nick: It's the the money is is the hardest part. But you know, raising the funds to pay for for everything. But you*

Katie: Yeah.

Nick: Know, to s to go into schools and to hear kids, you know, t to hear the way that kids respond to Mia and her speakers and everything is is a beautiful thing. To see how many people participate in Taryn's support groups and how many facilitators we have and that they don't leave and they stay with us.

Like it it's a beautiful thing that we've built here and it is a genuine community that almost feels like family. It it's cool it keeps me alive. It keeps

Katie: I yeah. And I think the purpose does, you know, too. Like, you know, jumping

Nick: Yeah.*

Katie: Into NAMI with both feet and then having this purpose to be able to take what happened to you and and make it so it hopefully never happens to someone who again,

Nick: Yeah.*

Katie: Right, who who these young people always know that they have someone to reach out to, a way to express their emotions.

Nick: Yes. Yep. It's you are and and I mean we use the phrase you're not alone so much and people people are like, yeah, you're not alone, Nami says that. It it I mean, it we mean it. Like it seriously mean it. You're you're not, and if you are, come here. If you feel alone, like come here.

Katie: Yeah, we'll we'll embrace you. That's so true. Well, you know,

Nick: Mm-hmm.

Katie: Thank you for sharing your so much of your story. I know that there's so much more to it, but you know, just for

Nick: Yeah.

Katie: Sharing so much of it and just for being so open and and you know

Nick: Worse.

Katie: Honest about what you've been di so you've been I mean so many things to touch on, right? The eating disorder, nobody talks about that. The the misdiagnosis, right? Like nobody talks about these things and to hear

Nick: Yeah. Yeah. Especially with men. Yep. Mhm. Yep.

Katie: Real story and then to see, you know, someone who who like you said, now you're an executive director, right? It's not

Nick: Yeah.

Katie: Easy, but it's possible. It's possible to do whatever

Nick: It's totally

Katie: You want with a mental health condition.

Nick: It's I'm not special. Like I'm not I'm not like some special person that found some special secret sauce and and got here. It's I worked hard and if if you know, it it's also what's really important, I'm not recovered. Like my mental illness didn't go away when I said I'd be the executive director. Like thoughts of suicide have not totally gone away for me.

And you know, so like it's not it's not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. And I don't just mean the job. I mean like my mental health journey. It's I have to work every day on it.

And, you know, I go to therapy, I d it's usually every Friday. I take I take my meds, you know, I was I was misdiagnosed at first, but then I was properly diagnosed and put on medication. Now I'm not gonna tell you which medication it is or anything like that because it works differently for everyone and what works for me

Katie: Exactly.

Nick: Might not work for somebody else. But what I would say is to not give up. If if you are if like I have schizoaffective disorder, it and I take a heavy duty antipsychotic, like and I work with my my it's she's a nurse practitioner.

My nurse practitioner on the prescribing end when it's too much, when it's too little, you know, and and we I I have to take you know, I have to do blood work all the time every month. But like if I don't stay on top of that stuff, like I I I I would slip right down, you know? Most people get seasonal depression in the winter. I get it in the summer. So we d I just went through, you know, about depression.

It's all about the people who are around me and my support system. My treatment team is is awesome. But I gotta tell ya, my little family here at Nami, in the other room is Mia and one of our board members, Jen. She's they're they're both amazing.

But like we all are like a little family. They support me, I support them. Taryn calls me Nami Poppy. It's you know, it's it's like

Katie: That.

Nick: And and we we laugh and joke and you know, like it's it's y we we have heavy jobs and we help like last year we helped sixty two thousand people at Nami Bucks County, which is a lot. And it's a three person full time team. We have three full time employees here, the rest are volunteers and you know, we we take we have to take care of each other.

And I think, you know, anytime I think like Nick, like you know, who do you think you are? Like, why are you doing this? Like there's somebody out there who's who's better who would be better at this job than you are. Like I re I I look at my Taryn and Mia and I think they wouldn't be here with me if if I if I didn't do a good job or you know, we wouldn't have helped sixty some thousand people.

And so, like, you know, with the i if you if you live with something like, you know, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder and your brain tells you things that you can't find evidence for in reality and you have people around you like that, it it's so helpful. Like your support system is important.

Now I have a hard time asking for help when I need it. But you know, I I I definitely let them know, you know, when

Katie: Yeah.

Nick: I'm struggling or or when I need something or things like that. But they're amazing.

Katie: So that's a that leads me to my next question actually, which is, you know, what does asking for help look like? You mentioned earlier that you still sometimes struggle with thoughts of suicide. And

Nick: Yep. Yes I do.

Katie: You know, so let's talk about that. For somebody maybe who out there who is out there struggling with thoughts of suicide or who has family members who are, you know, what what does help look like for you? What does it look like for others? How have you seen that?

Nick: Yeah, help help to me with with things like that. So, you know, when I get into a dark space and I I my brain is literally, you know, hijacked the conversation and is like, Nick, you're a failure. You're a terrible person. Like you should just end it, you know, things like that. It it's important to talk about it. It's it's you know, it and and to find a space where it's okay to talk about that.

And what I mean by that is you know, certain mental health professionals by licensure have to report certain things. And so, you know, we at at NAMI Bucks, we created a space call it's called Alternatives to Suicide. It's a support group. And it's a safe space to come and talk to your peers about thoughts of chronic suicide ideation.

So chronic suicide ideation, it doesn't go away. And so things that you need to ask before you know you would go to a group like that is do you you know do you have a plan? Do you have the means to do it? You know, do you have the means to die by suicide? And do you have a time to do it? So PMT plan means time.

And so in in our group Alternatives to suicide we make sure that people don't necessarily have all three of those things. And you know, the just because the thought is there does not mean that someone's going to do it.

So, you know, if you just voice the cons like, I I man, I I'm struggling and I am not sure I want to be here anymore. One of the worst things you could do is shut down that conversation and say, No, no, no. That no, we don't think like that. No. Or you know, what people used to say to me all the time was, Nick, you're a handsome guy. Why would you wanna kill yourself?

What does me being handsome have to do with anything? Like I I don't even know if I am, but like, you know, the the like the stuff that people will say back in response to someone saying, I don't wanna be here anymore, I'm thinking about killing myself is wild sometimes.

So g you know, as a community, get educated, first of all, and then you as a person, like there are people like me and you and us at NAMI who know how to handle that and who have been through it.

You know, it's important that we're peers and that we've been through these challenging circumstances because none of us are gonna go and clutch our pearls and, you know, say, my gosh, you know. And we're there for people, you know, we talk it through.

And a lot of the time when you talk to somebody who is suicidal or struggling with chronic thoughts, there's a roadblock that they can't get past. And you know, from their perspective, it's an immovable object that is never gonna go away. And so suicide is the solution.

And you know, that's another mistake people make is looking at suicide as a problem. It's not. Suicide is a solution for so many people. And if you start to treat it like a problem, they're not gonna be receptive.

So from a peer who has been there who understands that, you know, suicide is a solution when you're in your darkest times, don't take that away from somebody. Let's talk about it instead. And then let's talk about that immovable object. And, you know, then we can decide if we can move on from it, if we can move on together.

And, you know, if you're lacking purpose in your life, NAMI becomes purpose for a lot of people. So, you know, there are ways to navigate it. And we have people who struggle with that chronic suicide ideation every day.

They call our warm line. We have an emotional support warmline at NAMI. No one uses a phone like this anymore. So I don't know why we keep doing this emotional, but

Katie: It's a very millennial Gen X thing to do, you know?

Nick: Yeah, it and I'm I I d I d I'm nineteen eighty two, so I think I'm like an elder elder I'm

Katie: Your Gen X?

Nick: A grandfather millennial or Gen X or whatever it is. But

Katie: Okay, okay, yeah, something around there.

Nick: Or maybe I just like to say that I'm a millennial so I s I sound younger.

Katie: You might be an elder millennial. Millennials took over, so I'll believe it.

Nick: I well I don't have I don't seem to have the money that other millennials have, but hey, whatever. But you know what? Hey, wait, wait, let's reframe

Katie: I think we're all just pretending to be honest.

Nick: That. Do options have other millennials gone through the same struggle that I've gone through? And you know, do d maybe they have more money than I do because they they have the ten years that I was I was, you know, struggling with my brain maybe they didn't struggle with their brain. Maybe they just started working and saving money when they were younger.

So let's put it that way, 'cause it's you know, it's it's it's it to compare myself and I do I still do it. You

Katie: Yeah.

Nick: Know, I compare myself to like my peers who have never had the struggle that I've been through. And I'm like, I wish I had this and I wish I c you know, I they ha look at their house and they have three kids and it's it's you know, but i there's no comparison. They did not have to go through what I went through.

And if you're listening and you're, you know, my age or younger or older or whatever, and you're struggling with you have mental illness and you're comparing yourself to people who don't and who and or who have never experienced a major struggle like that, you can'can't compare. You can't compare. You are

So I dress up as a mental health superhero called Nami Man, but I'm not the only mental health superhero. So like anybody who wakes up and is able to, you know, go about their day, they're a mental health superhero.

If you can't go through your day without struggle, you're still a superhero. It's just I don't want you going through it by yourself. You know, make sure you reach out to it, I mean, it doesn't have to be NAMI, I would like it to be, but you know, reach out, reach out to somebody.

Katie: But yeah, reach out, have support, right? Good. We talked about the past, we've talked about the present. I want to

Nick: Yeah.*

Katie: Ask you a little bit about the future. You're somebody who, you know, has experienced this stuff. You've been on one side, now you're on the other, but you still every day is a healing journey. And I know that out there, you know, we are in a time and a place that a lot lot more people are struggling with their mental health and

Nick: Yes.*

Katie: That's a challenge. You know, that's that's hard, right? It's in some ways an epidemic. On the other side of that

Nick: It is.*

Katie: Though, we're having better conversations around mental health. We're better

Nick: We are. Yep.*

Katie: At breaking down stigma than we were even 15 years ago. So that's

Nick: Mm. Suicide rates are going down. Yep. We our youth suicide rates went down two points. Yep. Yep. Yep.*

Katie: Wow. So I didn't even know that. So so that's amazing. So yeah, our you know, our youth really struggled from the pandemic, but it does seem like, you know, these conversations, these stories are helping people to know

Nick: They are.*

Katie: That they're not alone. So talk to me about the future, about, you know, how do you envision the future of mental health of ad mental health advocacy even? Or, what are you hoping to see 15 years from now versus 15 years ago?

Nick: Yeah. I mean, you know, when I first started, we couldn't get our programs into schools. We struggled badly. And we had teachers and administrators who thought, well, if we talk about it with them, they're gonna know and then they're gonna do it and they're gonna, you know, like it it it people have come to to better awareness.

I mean, obviously and I should mention from our previous conversation. If you do have a planned mean and time means and time for suicide, reach out nine eight eight is our national suicide and crisis lifeline. And or go to your, you know, your psychiatrist or your local emergency room and and get the help that you need. I've been hospitalized f I four or f five times, I think, total. No shame in that.

But you know what I hope to see in the future is and what we're trying to do at NAMI locally and nationally is bring youth into the conversation, inform the future of mental health through NAMI. And you know, like I mean I've seen so much progress and so I I take that as a win.

And but youth can see all the other stuff that's happening that's not being addressed and trends and you know, things like that and they can we can bring that into our support education and advocacy program. So I want as many youth as possible involved at NAMI.

So what I would love is that we have full mental health parity. So you go to the doctor for mental health and you are treated the same as if you had a broken arm and with the same urgency and the same cost structure and everything like that. I would love some universal health care, but I mean that's a that's a pie in the sky.

Katie: Sure.

Nick: It would be amazing if if you you know, if you're in a psychosis and you're suicidal and you can't think about anything, you don't have to because it's covered. It's you don't have to worry about fees and costs and everything like that. You come in and you get you get treatment for free because your life matters, you know?

I I would love to see that. I would love to see mental health education in every single school mandatory. I mean, we're lucky in Bucks County that all of the school b and Mia is amazing, but we're lucky in Bucks County that all of the schools let us in and that we can teach them.

Katie: Right. Not all counties do that.

Nick: Not all counties, not all states. So,

Katie: Right.

Nick: You know, I would love to see mental health not be a political bargaining chip either. Mental health is not a liberal thing or you know, a conservative thing. It's not a Republican thing. It's not a democratic thing or Democrat thing. It is it is a human thing. And everybody has it. We're not immune to it.

And so that needs to stop. It is important to everyone. So and you know, I would love to see enough providers for everybody. I would love to see providers paid a living wage.

Katie: Mm, mm.

Nick: So that we don't lose them to Amazon and and Walmart and you know,

Katie: Right.

Nick: Like you can make more money almost anywhere else. So, you know, paying people a living wage so that we can build an actual system.

You know, one of my heroes at NAMI is Sue Aberholden. She retired. She was the executive director of NAMI Minnesota. Yes, Minnesota is it n is it Minnesota? It's it's

Katie: I'm not sure. But I know I know her. I know s yeah, I know so.

Nick: But she you know, the best quote I ever saw from her, and she said a lot of good stuff, was the mental health system was never built. It's not broken. It was never built. So give us money to build the system so that we're not having people die on the street and you know, or in jails. Jails are the largest mental health facilities in the country. So like stop that.

And you know, if if we actually care about people, like show it. Show it. So in the future, I hope that we have all of that and that people genuinely don't feel as alone as I did in the struggle. And that help is easy to come by, it's affordable, it's accessible, it's culturally competent, it's diverse and inclusive. So that's what I hope for the future. Me too.

Katie: Yeah. That's amazing. I hope for all of those things. You speak words that I feel like I sp I speak regularly. So you all of your talking points are my talking points. I just

Nick: Yep. I have a big long wish list. Yep.

Katie: Love it. Thank you so much for joining us for you know telling your

Nick: You're so welcome. Thank you.

Katie: Story. Thank you so much for just being you authentically. I just am so grateful.

Nick: I'm grateful for you. Thank you. Thanks everybody for listening.

Katie: Absolutely. And for everybody who's listening out there, this is watching mental health. And we have new episodes on Wednesdays, so always look out for them at my website at katierosewaechter.com. And if you are struggling and you don't know where to turn, NAMI is a resource. nami.org. They have a helpline. NAMIBUX County is amazing if you live in that area. If you're in Nevada, NAMI Southern Nevada, NAMI, Northern Nevada. Fabulous as well. And I just appreciate

Nick: Yes they are.

Katie: Nick's time. Thank you again and for all the support. And with that, have a good day, everybody. We will see you next time on Watching Mental Health.

Nick: Bye.